"T'is the season to be jolly...fa-la-lalala-la-lalala..."
It's the holiday season of the year and the city is bustling with festive cheers and numerous holiday makers are on the way to or returning from vacations....
Amidst the merry mood, as i walked out of the clinic for the required medical check, these thoughts raced through my mind.....
would i be able to listen to another piece of festive music or bear the sight of another festive ornament again if those few hundreds of lives had been lost as a result of my error?
Would i even be able to walk out of my home to face the world or turn on the TV or read the newspapers again if a national disaster had resulted from my lapse of concentration?
我是否能横眉冷对千夫指,充耳不闻万众怨地活下去？
"It's one of those things, our occupation hazard" ..the WM had said on our way to the clinic, i knew he was being kind, trying to console me in the hope of lightening the effect of what had happened. Indeed, i had known all these years, it's something that might just happen to anyone of us at any time, especially when you least expect it. Yet i had never really felt the horror till reality struck and it was so close, so close to a nightmarish disaster.
Why did it happen? I do not know. How do you prevent a lapse of concentration? How do you explain doing something you knew you ought not to do because it would result in potential risk and just a moment ago said No to the request yet seconds later inexplicably gave the go ahead to do it, completely forgetting about the potential risk factor?
The clinic staff had taken my blood and urine for tests of drugs and i had taken the breathalyser test and found cleared of alcohol content. The doc had asked if i was physically or medically well and whether i was on any medication or suffering from any undue stress or problems at home or at work at the time when it happened. I replied negative to all.
So, what do i think was the cause of it all?-he asked.
Lapse of concentration....was my reply. The cause? I don't know.
In fact, i've been feeling inexplicably frustrated the past few days, on hind sight, it could be a premonition of what was to happen.
Is it a sign....an answer to what i've been asking in my mind and heart all these days? Time to go?
心，不再焉，险成千古恨，
心，不再焉，险成大灾难，
心，不再焉，险抱憾终生。
刚在一个月前，才因心不在焉而跌伤了脚，不料一个月后又差点因心不在焉而铸成大错
提醒自己：从此以后，行、坐、吃、看、或干什麽都得专心，尤其执行任务时，更不应让思绪被杂念侵入。
但,这是我能控制的吗？
若再发生会不会再次逃过劫数？
这种念头很恐怖，会使你不想也不敢再回去工作岗位。
但，感谢上帝让我心平静，让我相信他的佑护，不让恐惧侵犯我。
God's Grace
I detest life's storms, even if it's just a passing one. So, quite often i would question God's love for me whenever little trials pop into my life. My favourite question: Why Lord? Why did it have to happen and to Me? Why？ Why? Why? Why?....when so often the cause is due to my silly errors or wilfulness or disobedience. Yet God has never stinged on His love and grace for me in all these circumstances.
i remember His provisions for me throughout my life, all the times i wouldn't have made it through on my own if not for HIM...sending His help through the people and circumstances that appeared in my life--in all those times throughout my youth, my tertiary days, my trips, the traumatic periods in my household and in this job...
As it is in this incident, IF my colleagues had not been 'on the ball', spotted the potential disaster and alerted me, IF i had not heard their prompting amidst another person's voice coming through my ears, IF the timing was not such that there was still time to avert the disaster, IF the reaction of the potential victims had not been quick enough, ...........
I guess I too would by now have chosen to perish together with the hundreds that would have perished. Thank God for His timely intervention, His saving Grace.
Erring is human, Grace is Divine.
Pastor had said that Grace is the 'unmerited, undeserved, unearned favour of God'
I have not been a good employee nor a good colleague, not even a pleasant one to work with and so i am surprised by the kind words of concern and encouragement that poured in after the matter was made known. The WM took time after work to send me to the clinic for the check when he could have left me to go on my own, the CS sent me a email that expressed his consideration for my feelings and colleagues whom i've not expected them to, sent me uplifting smses...
Thank you guys and girls. I appreciate all your kindness! You are unto me, the grace of God.
GRACE: The UNMERITED, UNDESERVED, UNEARNED FAVOUR of GOD
....is what i'm learning to experience through the little storms that blow into my life.
Jesus said: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness"
It's the holiday season of the year and the city is bustling with festive cheers and numerous holiday makers are on the way to or returning from vacations....
Amidst the merry mood, as i walked out of the clinic for the required medical check, these thoughts raced through my mind.....
would i be able to listen to another piece of festive music or bear the sight of another festive ornament again if those few hundreds of lives had been lost as a result of my error?
Would i even be able to walk out of my home to face the world or turn on the TV or read the newspapers again if a national disaster had resulted from my lapse of concentration?
我是否能横眉冷对千夫指,充耳不闻万众怨地活下去？
"It's one of those things, our occupation hazard" ..the WM had said on our way to the clinic, i knew he was being kind, trying to console me in the hope of lightening the effect of what had happened. Indeed, i had known all these years, it's something that might just happen to anyone of us at any time, especially when you least expect it. Yet i had never really felt the horror till reality struck and it was so close, so close to a nightmarish disaster.
Why did it happen? I do not know. How do you prevent a lapse of concentration? How do you explain doing something you knew you ought not to do because it would result in potential risk and just a moment ago said No to the request yet seconds later inexplicably gave the go ahead to do it, completely forgetting about the potential risk factor?
The clinic staff had taken my blood and urine for tests of drugs and i had taken the breathalyser test and found cleared of alcohol content. The doc had asked if i was physically or medically well and whether i was on any medication or suffering from any undue stress or problems at home or at work at the time when it happened. I replied negative to all.
So, what do i think was the cause of it all?-he asked.
Lapse of concentration....was my reply. The cause? I don't know.
In fact, i've been feeling inexplicably frustrated the past few days, on hind sight, it could be a premonition of what was to happen.
Is it a sign....an answer to what i've been asking in my mind and heart all these days? Time to go?
心，不再焉，险成千古恨，
心，不再焉，险成大灾难，
心，不再焉，险抱憾终生。
刚在一个月前，才因心不在焉而跌伤了脚，不料一个月后又差点因心不在焉而铸成大错
提醒自己：从此以后，行、坐、吃、看、或干什麽都得专心，尤其执行任务时，更不应让思绪被杂念侵入。
但,这是我能控制的吗？
若再发生会不会再次逃过劫数？
这种念头很恐怖，会使你不想也不敢再回去工作岗位。
但，感谢上帝让我心平静，让我相信他的佑护，不让恐惧侵犯我。
God's Grace
I detest life's storms, even if it's just a passing one. So, quite often i would question God's love for me whenever little trials pop into my life. My favourite question: Why Lord? Why did it have to happen and to Me? Why？ Why? Why? Why?....when so often the cause is due to my silly errors or wilfulness or disobedience. Yet God has never stinged on His love and grace for me in all these circumstances.
i remember His provisions for me throughout my life, all the times i wouldn't have made it through on my own if not for HIM...sending His help through the people and circumstances that appeared in my life--in all those times throughout my youth, my tertiary days, my trips, the traumatic periods in my household and in this job...
As it is in this incident, IF my colleagues had not been 'on the ball', spotted the potential disaster and alerted me, IF i had not heard their prompting amidst another person's voice coming through my ears, IF the timing was not such that there was still time to avert the disaster, IF the reaction of the potential victims had not been quick enough, ...........
I guess I too would by now have chosen to perish together with the hundreds that would have perished. Thank God for His timely intervention, His saving Grace.
Erring is human, Grace is Divine.
Pastor had said that Grace is the 'unmerited, undeserved, unearned favour of God'
I have not been a good employee nor a good colleague, not even a pleasant one to work with and so i am surprised by the kind words of concern and encouragement that poured in after the matter was made known. The WM took time after work to send me to the clinic for the check when he could have left me to go on my own, the CS sent me a email that expressed his consideration for my feelings and colleagues whom i've not expected them to, sent me uplifting smses...
Thank you guys and girls. I appreciate all your kindness! You are unto me, the grace of God.
GRACE: The UNMERITED, UNDESERVED, UNEARNED FAVOUR of GOD
....is what i'm learning to experience through the little storms that blow into my life.
Jesus said: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness"
[ 2 Cor 12 : 9]
The apostle Paul had said : "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
The apostle Paul had said : "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
[2 Cor 12:10]
2 comments:
I believe it is God's will that something happen for a reason..Do u believe in angels? They can always take the forms of any things from animals to humans..Angles will always look after ppl with a kind soul & will appear to help them in the nick of time..This time, they took up the forms of yr colleagues who r with u..Dun thk 2much,take it as a lesson in life..for HE will have the path for u to follow..
hey ah yoke, chill.
Not exactly sure how and what happened but I guess it could happened to any of us given how heavy and complex traffic are this days.
Hope u'll leave ur demon behind and not let this affect ur confidence, especially at work. Have a good rest and clear ur mind, maybe some exercise will help.
Hope to see u back at work soon. Take care and God bless. Cheer up! :)
Post a Comment