My Hyde
In all my encounters with the 'Ex-pope' , he had always been The Accuser of the Brethen, often bearing the attitude that we are always guilty and wrong even when proven otherwise.
Thus, when i heard that The Internal IP has partly been convened and will consist of the 'Ex-pope' and (thank God) The Lamb, plus one more to be determined, my heart sank a little and it didn't help that i found out minutes after that, one of my junior colleagues had received an earful from him the night before in the midst of attending another colleague's wedding dinner for a mistake the poor junior had made weeks before! How sensitive can this guy be?
Yesterday, together with The Lamb, he came and view the playback. After that the unfortunate WM who was on duty that fateful day got a shelling from him. The poor WM was accused of failing in his duty as WM in allowing me to continue to work 20plus minutes after it happened. i felt real bad on hearing it, 'cos it was entirely my fault that i only reported the matter after i've finished the whole session instead of immediately when it happened, so how was the poor WM to know ? The kind WM did not utter a word of blame to me but advised me instead to be prepared for the nastiness i might have to face during the IP with the 'Ex-pope' and the potential questions i would have to answer. He even told me to hold back my tears and not take whatever the 'Ex-pope' says to heart. It was really very nice of him. (Another show of GOD's grace)
Now, when i was told the 'Ex-pope' wanted to see me 'off the records' for a 'short chat' immediately just after i've been 'grilled' by the External IP this morning, i was really reluctant to go. My relationship with the 'Ex-pope' could be classified as 'near cold-war' at the most cordial with the possibility of escalating to World War II at the other extreme. As much as i'm concerned, i believe he and i are pains in the neck to each other. i cannot imagine what yelling or shelling i'm gonna get from him and i'm certainly not prepared for it at that moment. But the senior who came to inform me assured me it was just an 'off the records' chat, and that there will be another senior in the room where the 'Ex-pope' was waiting, so i had no choice but to drag my feet into the room, praying in my heart for God's grace...
Dr Jekyll
Whatever i've expected, it certainly wasn't this : a kind smiling 'Ex-pope' sitting relaxed on his chair expressing his concern about how i was feeling. Neither did i expect the whole conversation to be centred on kind, gentle words of comfort and understanding...
"-that the Internal IP will not be ready to see me till next monday so in the meantime i should not dwell on the matter but be thankful it was already over though he admitted it was a 'hairy' experience watching the video playback;
-that it could happen to anyone in my shoes 'cos there was extensive wx;
-that the most important thing now is for me to get my confidence back;
-that i can call him if i needed to talk about it (even rattled off his HP no. to me!) or go for professional counselling arranged by the company;
-that i can consider going on leave and destress myself by watching movies or finding something enjoyable to do....."
To tell the truth, i can't remember much else 'cos i was just stupefied, i guess, more stunned than at the moment the incident happened. Good Lord, why do you never fail to surprise me with your grace? Just this morning, i found a beautiful crystal purple angel in my locker together with a long comforting note from another colleague whom i gathered must have written it with all her heart. So, i would like to believe this sudden display of 'warmth & understanding' from the normally 'accuser of the brethen' is yet another testimony of the grace of God.
My Hyde
Shortly after, the team members who were involved that day when i was working were called one by one to submit their version of what had happened. Now, i've not only dragged the WM into shit, but the whole team. It seemed that the 'Ex-pope' had a notion there were people who were aware but did not blow the whistle immediatley that day and this did not go down well with him.
So, right now, i pray that God's favour and grace be upon my colleagues and WM who have most unfortunately been dragged into this shit, as well as unto me, that i'll see Dr Jekyll and not Mr Hyde at the IP next week.
I have believed that the main purpose of making the report is that we may be able to learn from our errors so as to prevent future misfortunes. If pointing fingers, shelling innocent parties and meting penalties are going to be part of the package, i'm afraid it may just deter people from initiating reports in future.
For if that's the case, life would have been better for everyone if : "NO casualty/complaint => no report => no investigation => no reliving/recalling the incident over and over again => no grilling and answering awkward questions like a criminal => no shelling/fingers pointing => no getting others into shit ...." , hush hush...
In all my encounters with the 'Ex-pope' , he had always been The Accuser of the Brethen, often bearing the attitude that we are always guilty and wrong even when proven otherwise.
Thus, when i heard that The Internal IP has partly been convened and will consist of the 'Ex-pope' and (thank God) The Lamb, plus one more to be determined, my heart sank a little and it didn't help that i found out minutes after that, one of my junior colleagues had received an earful from him the night before in the midst of attending another colleague's wedding dinner for a mistake the poor junior had made weeks before! How sensitive can this guy be?
Yesterday, together with The Lamb, he came and view the playback. After that the unfortunate WM who was on duty that fateful day got a shelling from him. The poor WM was accused of failing in his duty as WM in allowing me to continue to work 20plus minutes after it happened. i felt real bad on hearing it, 'cos it was entirely my fault that i only reported the matter after i've finished the whole session instead of immediately when it happened, so how was the poor WM to know ? The kind WM did not utter a word of blame to me but advised me instead to be prepared for the nastiness i might have to face during the IP with the 'Ex-pope' and the potential questions i would have to answer. He even told me to hold back my tears and not take whatever the 'Ex-pope' says to heart. It was really very nice of him. (Another show of GOD's grace)
Now, when i was told the 'Ex-pope' wanted to see me 'off the records' for a 'short chat' immediately just after i've been 'grilled' by the External IP this morning, i was really reluctant to go. My relationship with the 'Ex-pope' could be classified as 'near cold-war' at the most cordial with the possibility of escalating to World War II at the other extreme. As much as i'm concerned, i believe he and i are pains in the neck to each other. i cannot imagine what yelling or shelling i'm gonna get from him and i'm certainly not prepared for it at that moment. But the senior who came to inform me assured me it was just an 'off the records' chat, and that there will be another senior in the room where the 'Ex-pope' was waiting, so i had no choice but to drag my feet into the room, praying in my heart for God's grace...
Dr Jekyll
Whatever i've expected, it certainly wasn't this : a kind smiling 'Ex-pope' sitting relaxed on his chair expressing his concern about how i was feeling. Neither did i expect the whole conversation to be centred on kind, gentle words of comfort and understanding...
"-that the Internal IP will not be ready to see me till next monday so in the meantime i should not dwell on the matter but be thankful it was already over though he admitted it was a 'hairy' experience watching the video playback;
-that it could happen to anyone in my shoes 'cos there was extensive wx;
-that the most important thing now is for me to get my confidence back;
-that i can call him if i needed to talk about it (even rattled off his HP no. to me!) or go for professional counselling arranged by the company;
-that i can consider going on leave and destress myself by watching movies or finding something enjoyable to do....."
To tell the truth, i can't remember much else 'cos i was just stupefied, i guess, more stunned than at the moment the incident happened. Good Lord, why do you never fail to surprise me with your grace? Just this morning, i found a beautiful crystal purple angel in my locker together with a long comforting note from another colleague whom i gathered must have written it with all her heart. So, i would like to believe this sudden display of 'warmth & understanding' from the normally 'accuser of the brethen' is yet another testimony of the grace of God.
My Hyde
Shortly after, the team members who were involved that day when i was working were called one by one to submit their version of what had happened. Now, i've not only dragged the WM into shit, but the whole team. It seemed that the 'Ex-pope' had a notion there were people who were aware but did not blow the whistle immediatley that day and this did not go down well with him.
So, right now, i pray that God's favour and grace be upon my colleagues and WM who have most unfortunately been dragged into this shit, as well as unto me, that i'll see Dr Jekyll and not Mr Hyde at the IP next week.
I have believed that the main purpose of making the report is that we may be able to learn from our errors so as to prevent future misfortunes. If pointing fingers, shelling innocent parties and meting penalties are going to be part of the package, i'm afraid it may just deter people from initiating reports in future.
For if that's the case, life would have been better for everyone if : "NO casualty/complaint => no report => no investigation => no reliving/recalling the incident over and over again => no grilling and answering awkward questions like a criminal => no shelling/fingers pointing => no getting others into shit ...." , hush hush...
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves" [Matthew 7:15] - was the ominous bible verse of the day on my Facebook page....
Abba God, i thank you that you'll take us through with your grace and favour!! Praise ye Lord!
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