As much as i tried to avoid it, i entered that dreadful room.
In that same room around this time last year, i initiated the visit to the P's room to seek an explanation. i was told then that those 'up there' have made up a certain curve for categorization. Everyone was categorized into one part of the curve, namely 'condemned', 'blue-eyed' or 'common'. This curve determines your livelihood and your future path in the dungeon. i had been banished to the 'condemned' lot and though i was told the categorization was based on performance and merits, he could not say then what yardsticks were being used to measure these. He could not give me a valid explanation as to why i was 'condemned' 'cos at that time, they don't need to give you an explanation and so, when i left that room that day with the inexplicable 'condemned' mark on me, i behaved the condemned way i was condemned to be till this day.
This day, a year later, the 'P', together with the 'VP' , called all dungeon mates individually into his room to let us know which part of the curve we have progressed to or back slided to in the past year and also to give each a so called 'explanation' as to how we were categorized.
i was told i have been observed to have 'improved; since the last categorization exercise and so i may leave the 'condemned' lot to progress into the 'common' lot. In what ways have i improved? They can't explain too, just that i've been reported to have shown improvement.
Did i rejoice on hearing this?
NOPE!!!
In fact, i got angrier.
In my entire work career, i've never performed or behaved worse than what i had the whole of last year. i had given the most condemned behaviour in response to the condemned mark they've stamped on me. And this, they claimed, was an improvement over the previous where i was the good spirited worker i was. And it's this condemned behaviour that actually got me to move up the curve !! i suspect it was out of pity that they moved me out of the pits.
Hence, i've concluded that i should remain angry, so as to sustain the 'condemned' behaviour in order not to be 'condemned' the next round. Sounds confusing? Yeah, i am confused too by the way the supposedly more abled and more matured people up there decide on our livelihood and paths.
It boils down to only thing: whether it's out of pity or out of their love for condemned behaviour that i was deemed to have 'improved', the whole categorization exercise , with the exception of maybe the few blue-eyed picked, in reality, has nothing to do with actual work performance or personal merits or number of ideas submitted or tasks completed. Who falls into the pit depends on who shoots the arrows and who got hit by the arrows.
In that same room around this time last year, i initiated the visit to the P's room to seek an explanation. i was told then that those 'up there' have made up a certain curve for categorization. Everyone was categorized into one part of the curve, namely 'condemned', 'blue-eyed' or 'common'. This curve determines your livelihood and your future path in the dungeon. i had been banished to the 'condemned' lot and though i was told the categorization was based on performance and merits, he could not say then what yardsticks were being used to measure these. He could not give me a valid explanation as to why i was 'condemned' 'cos at that time, they don't need to give you an explanation and so, when i left that room that day with the inexplicable 'condemned' mark on me, i behaved the condemned way i was condemned to be till this day.
This day, a year later, the 'P', together with the 'VP' , called all dungeon mates individually into his room to let us know which part of the curve we have progressed to or back slided to in the past year and also to give each a so called 'explanation' as to how we were categorized.
i was told i have been observed to have 'improved; since the last categorization exercise and so i may leave the 'condemned' lot to progress into the 'common' lot. In what ways have i improved? They can't explain too, just that i've been reported to have shown improvement.
Did i rejoice on hearing this?
NOPE!!!
In fact, i got angrier.
In my entire work career, i've never performed or behaved worse than what i had the whole of last year. i had given the most condemned behaviour in response to the condemned mark they've stamped on me. And this, they claimed, was an improvement over the previous where i was the good spirited worker i was. And it's this condemned behaviour that actually got me to move up the curve !! i suspect it was out of pity that they moved me out of the pits.
Hence, i've concluded that i should remain angry, so as to sustain the 'condemned' behaviour in order not to be 'condemned' the next round. Sounds confusing? Yeah, i am confused too by the way the supposedly more abled and more matured people up there decide on our livelihood and paths.
It boils down to only thing: whether it's out of pity or out of their love for condemned behaviour that i was deemed to have 'improved', the whole categorization exercise , with the exception of maybe the few blue-eyed picked, in reality, has nothing to do with actual work performance or personal merits or number of ideas submitted or tasks completed. Who falls into the pit depends on who shoots the arrows and who got hit by the arrows.
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