Not Guilty!!! 死不瞑目

My report was good enough to get something , he said. Unfortunately in order to fit the bell curve it was ultimately marked down. Based on the original bell curve distribution a lot of rookies were initially placed at the disadvantaged lower end. The upper echelons noticed and deemed it not too healthy; an adjustment was made which meant some unfortunate lambs have to be marked down to exchange places with these rookies.

(How healthy is this then?)

What was the basis of those being marked down?

Examples cited :

Excessive MCs

Malingerers

No show of proactiveness at work resulting in delays and excessive holding or creating a mess for others

Did not go the extra mile to stay beyond duty hours when there're emergencies or problematic situations

To all of the above i cry "NOT GUILTY" with a loud and clear conscience and asked for proof, he said as it was a closed appraisal, there was no documentation of instances but he had gathered feedback from 'here and there' , from peers and other wms, that he can't tell me what was eventually written, that i may not be guilty of all but somewhere i'm lacking the skills required.... which left me in the dark.....

Did he not say earlier i had a good enough report, so what did he mean he can't tell me exactly what was written that had caused me to be marked down.

i told him if he can't explain which are the areas of improvement i should look into then how am i to work on making the mark the next round? Again, he reiterated i should work on my work skills...on the examples cited above.

Now if i had been told that it was solely because of my incident, i would have gladly accepted it but to frame me with the accusations above, esp the last,without citing instances of proof, i'm truly truly indignant and greatly angered.

At the end of a session where i had hoped to be enlightened on how to better myself for the coming year, i'm left to the conclusion that some people out there needed me sacrificed but had no guts to give me a substantiate explanation; that since i've no clue as to the basis of the accusations above and may continued to be maligned, i would probably be looking 'forward' to a year or years ahead of a diet of eggs and dead cats till they kill me with high cholesterol or food poisoning. Maybe i should just do them a favour by doing all that they have accused me of and document it for them so that they can give me a better justification the next round?

i'm really, really frustrated,

frustrated because
-though we, like the soccer ball get kicked from one unit to the other, the appraisal is only based on performance at one unit;
- there exist a self imposed man-made damned curve where some sacrificial lambs have to be offered- lambs who perform our duties as best as we can, but refused to butter people's back sides, lick anyone's toes or say 'yes sir yes sir 3 bags full' ;
-the process of decision that results in large monetary payouts and with repercussions on the yearly increment is not made transparent;
-no substantiate proofs can be cited to support the basis for those sacrificed;

- those who are truly guilty of the examples cited get their shares instead.

心里真得非常非常非常非常非常的不平衡！

A volcano has erupted within me, and the lava of anger, frustration, sense of malignity and jealousy has erupted, dangerous & evil, but i'm allowing myself to drown in it, at least for now.....

TO THOSE WHO DEALT ME THIS COURSE OF EGGS and DEAD CAT.... MAY YOU EAT YOUR OWN VOMIT FLAVOURED WITH DOG SHIT!!!
TO THOSE WHO THINK I DESERVE THIS, THAT LIFE IS NEVER FAIR, THAT I SHOULD JUST GET OVER IT, BLAH BLAH BLAH....GO PISS SOMEWHERE ELSE!!

for thou who art not pricked know not the pain